Hi There, From Your Most Pessimistic Friend

I wanted to write you to tell you that I know things seem great, but they’re really not. In the world today, someone choked on a hambone, a hambone. And things may be going good for you right now, but your hambone is out there, waiting to jump in your throat and restrict your breathing.

I know the numbers look good, but often numbers distort truth. They get up on their page, run around and then start stabbing each other with the ones. The ones are used as little spears. And mean time you think your traveling in the fast lane, but there’s a little known secret that I know: the fast lane is the one headed straight for Poop Mountain. And that’s not a place where fun things happen.